克服社交恐惧的关键之每日学一遍英语

Improvement Pill here
这里是《激励胶囊》
A very interesting study was conducted in 2000
2000年 康奈尔大学教授汤姆·季洛维奇
at Cornell University by Professor Thomas Gilovich.
做了一项非常有趣的研究
He took groups of students and randomly selected
他挑选了几组学生
one individual from each group.
随机从每组中选出一人
He then told the rest of the students
接着他告诉剩下的学生
to show up to a certain room at a certain time
在特定的时间到达特定的房间
to work on a quote-unquote project.
进行一个所谓的项目
It’s very important to note that all of the seats in this room were positioned in a way
需要注意的是 房间里所有座位
so that everyone was facing the door.
都是固定朝向门的
He then took the singled out individuals
然后 他让先前单选出的人
purposely stalled them a bit and had them wear a t-shirt with a well-known person on it
刻意逗留片刻 让他们穿上印有
such as Martin Luther King or Bob Marley.
如马丁·路德·金 鲍勃·马利这类名人头像的T恤
He then told that individual to go to the room
告知被选中的对象进入房间
knowing that they would be late
他知道被选择的对象会迟到
and also knowing that all of the other students
知道所有学生会看
would look up at the door and notice who was coming in.
会抬头看门口注意是谁进来了
This experiment was supposed to replicate an embarrassing event.
实验旨在复制出一个尴尬的事件场景
The singled out individuals knew
在实验中 被单选出来的人知道
that there were the only ones who were late,
自己是唯一迟到的人
and they were led to believe that everyone else noticed by the fact
每个人在自己走进房时都抬头看了看
that everyone looked up when they walked into the room.
这让他们相信所有人都注意到了自己
After the experiment,
实验结束后
the researchers asked these embarrassed individuals
研究人员询问这些遭受尴尬的个体：
“how many of the students do you think remembered
“你们认为有多少学生还清晰地
the incidents vividly”,
记得这些事情？”
and on average these singled out individuals reported
他们普遍表示
that 50% of all the other students would be able to recall the event
大概50%的学生能够回忆起这件事
and the shirt that they were wearing
包括他们穿着那件的T恤
because well they messed up,
因为确实他们搞砸了
and they were absolutely sure that a large chunk of people in the room noticed.
他们笃定房间里一大堆人都是注意到了的
But what the researchers actually found was that only 10%
然而研究人员的发现其实是
of the students in that room
只有10%的学生
were able to recall the event and the t-shirt,
能够回忆起事件和T恤
five times less than what our embarrassed individuals thought.
比研究对象所想象的少了五倍
What this experiment discovered is what’s called the spotlight effect.
该实验发现的正是所谓的“聚光灯效应”
We humans often overestimate how much others care
人类总是会高估他人对自己
about our negative and also positive actions.
积极和消极行为的关注程度
We think that the spotlight is on us,
我们认为自己将别人的目光聚于一身
that everyone is looking at us and judging us
每个人总都在看着我们 评判我们
when in reality the large majority of people simply don’t care.
而事实上 大部分人对我们简直是不在意的
And this is a very very important concept
如果你正在和社会性焦虑作斗争
that you need to internalize if you are struggling with social anxiety.
这是一个你必须内化习得的非常非常重要的概念
See, the main reason we feel anxious around others
看吧 之所以我们在别人身边会感到焦虑
is because we feel like they’re watching us and judging us.
是由于感觉有他人的观望和评判的存在
We’re scared to act how we want to be ourselves
由于不想冒让别人看不起的风险
because we don’t want to risk people looking down on us.
不想被别人厌恶 我们害怕表现成
We don’t want others to dislike us.
自己所想要的样子
But in reality the large majority of people simply don’t care that much about you.
但事实是 多数人对你根本毫不在意
I know this sounds like a bad thing
我知道这听起来不是一件好事
but it’s just human nature.
但这是人性使然
Most people are stuck in their own heads
大多数人都深陷在各自的脑海中
and are thinking about themselves, not you.
考虑的都是各自本身 而不是你
The moment you internalize this concept
一旦你内化了这个概念
and genuinely start believing in it,
并且真诚地信服之后
your levels of social anxiety will drop significantly.
你的社会性焦虑程度会大幅降低
But of course this is much easier said than done.
当然说起来容易 做起来难
How in the world can we get ourselves to truly truly believe
我们到底怎样才能够让自己真正相信
in the spotlight effect?
有“聚光灯效应”呢
Well today I’m gonna show you a simple two-step process that I personally used
今天 我将向你们展示一个简单的两步方法
to drill this concept into my own head
也是我自己用以吸收这个概念的方法
Step 1: you need to become more aware of your own thoughts.
第1步 你需要更加了解自己的想法
The large majority of us are oblivious to the fifty to seventy thousand thoughts
我们每天平均会产生5万到7万个想法
that we have on average every single day,
而大多数人都没有注意到自己的这些想法
which is why you need to start building
因此 你需要着手培养一种
a mindfulness habit like meditation
正念的习惯 比如冥想
where you try to clear your head and try to focus on one thing like your breathing.
努力清空大脑 仅专注于一件事 比如呼吸
When you build a mindfulness practice like this,
在建立一个这样的正念练习习惯后
you will become 10 times more aware of how you think,
你对自己想法的清晰度会增加十倍
and you will also start to notice that
同时 你也会开始注意到
the large majority of your own thoughts are about yourself,
自己大部分的想法都是关于自己的
past events, future concerns,
过去的事 未来的事
worrying about what others think, that sort of stuff
对别人想法的担心 诸如此类
You’ll notice that less than 1% of your own thoughts will be about other people
你会发现自己只有不到1%的想法是和
that you come across randomly throughout the day
一天中偶遇过的那些人有关的
Step 2: once you’ve started becoming more aware of your own thoughts,
第二步：一旦你开始更明晰自己想法
you can start doing another mental exercise,
你便可以开始另一个思维练习
one that I like to call “the swapping shoes exercise”.
我喜欢称之为“换鞋子”练习
This is when you go to a public place and pick out a random individual.
也就是到公共场所 随机挑选一个人
Then you focus focus focus, and you try your hardest
然后将注意力集中 集中 再集中
to imagine what’s going on in their head,
尽最大的力去模拟他们脑海中的所思所想
imagine that you’re in their shoes living their life.
想象你设身处地过着他们的生活
What problems are they currently facing?
那么他们目前会面临什么问题
What are they currently worrying or stressing out about?
他们在担心和紧张什么
What sort of insecure thoughts are going on in their head?
他们内心所不安的是什么
What other things do you think they’re thinking about?
他们还可能在想什么呢
Allow yourself to really imagine being in their shoes,
让自己充分站在对方立场
and also imagine what sort of thoughts are going on in their head.
充分沉浸于对方的所思所想中
By doing this exercise, you will start to condition yourself to believe
经过这种练习 你会开始让自己习惯
that others spend the majority of their time
相信他人确实是将多数的时间
thinking about their own problems and themselves, which is actually true.
花费在考虑自己和自己的问题上
The more you do this,
练习得越多
the more you will internalize the spotlight effect,
对聚光灯效应的习得程度也会越深
which in turn will allow you to start feeling less and less social anxiety
进而你也会越来越少地感到社会性焦虑
as you start to realize that people just aren’t paying that much attention to you
因为你开始意识到别人并没有那么注意你
It might sound a bit sad to realize this,
听到这一点 你可能会有些难过
but in reality, you’ll feel a huge weight being lifted off of your shoulders.
但事实上 你同时也会感觉到
You will feel free.
如释重负 自在轻松
This episode is sponsored by Blinkist.
本期节目由Blinkist赞助
Oftentimes I get questions from you guys about where I get all of my ideas from.
经常会有人来问我这些想法是从哪里来的
And to be honest, a fair amount of them do come from books.
老实说 相当一部分都来源于书本
The problem is that sometimes it can be hard to find time
问题是有时候很难找到时间坐下来阅读
to sit down and read, which is why I recommend Blinkist.
而这就是我推荐Blinkist的原因
Blinkist takes the key teachings from thousands of non-fiction books
Blinkist从成千上万的非小说类书籍中
and convinces them into 15-minute snippets
提取了关键的知识点 并将其转化为
that you can read or even listen to.
15分钟的片段以供阅读或听取
That way you don’t have to read the entire book
这样你就不用为了汲取部分要点
in order to extract the lessons.
而读完整本书了
I use Blinkist whenever I need to quickly learn more about a subject.
每次需要快速学习某一主题时 我就会借助Blinkist
For example, just the other day,
例如 就在前几天
I was doing some research on the subject of psychology trying to find some new ideas.
我想通过研究心理学的题材获得一些新的想法
The problem was that there are literally dozens of books
问题是每年都有整整几十本
published every year about psychology.
关于心理学的书出版
It would have taken me forever to manually go through each of these books.
要是一本一本地去读 我怎么也看不完
But because I have Blinkist,
但有了Blinkist
I was able to quickly learn a lot about
我能够很快地从一些伟大的书中
many interesting psychology concepts
学到很多有趣的心理学概念
from great books such as truth by Hector McDonald,
比如赫克托·麦克唐纳的《后真相时代》
life lessons from a brain surgeon by rahul jandial,
Rahul Jandial的《来自脑外科医生的生命课程》
and childhood disrupted by Donna nakazawa
以及唐娜·中泽的《童年创伤》
all of which I recommend guys to check out.
所有这些我都建议大家去看看
The first 100 people to go to
前一百位登录
WWW.BLINKIST.COM /IMPROVEMENTPILL
WWW.BLINKIST.COM /IMPROVEMENTPILL网站的朋友
will get unlimited access to try out blinkist for an entire week.
将获得Blinkist的一周无限使用机会
You’ll also get 25% off if you want a full membership.
如果你想加入正式会员 可以得到25%的折扣
You can cancel at any time.
也能够随时退订
If you want to help support the channel, this is one of the best ways to do so.
这也是支持本频道的最好方法之一
Just check it out.
去看看吧
Besides that guys, stay tuned.
除此之外 朋友们 继续关注